Polk's Philosophy of Painting

 One of the things that I love about painting is the fact that you as an artist are capturing a moment in time. I said that, because for me, it isn't about recreating a landscape or an image, or copying a technique . .it (the act of painting) is about creation,  . . .creating an image or piece of art that expresses what you feel, or maybe what you see, or hear . . .but an image that expresses your experience with the world in that moment.  I can not know if when I finish a painting if it is something people can relate to, or like to look at and enjoy, until they tell me so.  Exhibiting paintings, at one point in my life would almost cause me to throw up.  My paintings were and are snap shots of my soul in a moment of time.  But ironically the paintings I do many times are difficult for me to understand, until I take time with them and let them tell me what they are trying to say. Even landscapes and paintings of houses or barns . . .it will amaze me. I will have painted a place, and felt like I captured it essence, yet maybe a year later, I will get an itch to paint the same landscape again, . . what always amazed me, is none of the paintings turned out the same. Some people might think they look the same, but if you really look there are always enormous differences between the paintings . .Some times it is just the feeling I get looking at the paintings, one makes me feel calm, another. .(the same landscape etc . .) makes me sad, or makes me feel like I want to pull my hair out. It seems like all my paintings are just recordings of my soul and my days, and my life. I don't know the reason, but a feeling that has followed me through my life, is the feeling of being invisible. Almost as if I am not real, or of any substance. But I know I am real.  . . .what the philosopher said . ."I think, therefore I am" . . .well with me, I would say "I hurt, therefore I am".  But pain is not a bad thing, it keeps things real. At least it does for me. Pain and I are good pals, it keeps me anchored. But I think pain is one of the experiences I most usually capture in my paintings . . .If my paintings ever make you feel anything, I think it is a good thing. When I view others' paintings, it amazes me the love, or pain, I sometimes see in them. I wonder how the artist could have loved that much, or suffered so horribly to create that image. Well I thought I would end this, sharing three paintings and their secrets. This first painting I entitled the "Birds and the Bees".   It is a happy painting for me.  I was outside in the backyard, just messing around starting to paint when I thought I saw a humming bird, I couldn't decide if I had or not, but looking hard over by the flowers I saw this world of insects, bees and flies, all so alive and full of movement, I just thought it was beautiful. This painting was done after I had been diagnosed with cancer, but before I started chemo. It was one of those moments when you are sorta forced to stop and take a look at life, and it suddenly is mind boggling how beautiful it is.  . .well on to the next one.

 this  next painting is entitled "the Iris bed". If you were wondering, those of you who thought it might have been painted the same day, you would have been correct. There was this really beautiful iris in the garden, and I wanted to paint it, but I kept being distracted by the insects. It was like those  bunch of iris were under attack, but I just thought it was amazingly promising, beautiful and happy. It ended up being a really good day. These are two of my favorite paintings, but people don't seem to relate to them much, so I usually just take them out for me.  O.K. on to the next painting .. . . . .

 this painting is  entitled "Flowers in my Mind".  This painting makes me a bit uncomfortable looking at it. This painting to me, is full of pain and anger . .I was in the middle of chemo therapy and radiation therapy for cancer, and I was not a calm or happy person when painting this. This painting was one of the first ones I tried after I had started chemo. I think I did my chemo, April-August, (2008) and this was painted right before I started radiation therapy. One of the things really bothering me, was the chemo had caused me to lost feeling in my hands and finger tips, and it was almost as if I was being forced to work with some stranger's hands, they didn't seem to know what I was asking or wanted from them. I see many half strokes, and angry strokes in this painting.  . . . .Ironically  I submitted this painting to a gallery in New York, and it was accepted for their exhibition . (along with two other paintings). The gallery wanted me there for the exhibition, at least the opening weekend . . .I wasn't going to New York. They seemed rather pissed off, when I told them I wasn't coming, or sending the paintings. The main reason I had sent it, was an editor of one of the literary journals that published my poetry, asked me to send it. I do have to admit it getting accepted, along with two other paintings, got me to get out the paints again. I thought maybe somewhere, there was someone who got my artwork, or was moved by it. But mainly, being a cancer survivor, painting seems a good way to get through some of the more difficult days, and record them, both the good and the bad. . . Well thank you all who read though this little rant of mine. Until the next time I think I have something I need to share . . .happy trails . . . .